Saturday, March 28, 2009 @ 8:45 PM
THOUGHTS & FEELINGS .ain't shure bout what to do .
my mind is full of things .
problems i mean .
wanting to give up but guess i have to stay strong .
mustn't let all this bring me down .
people are counting on me .
now , everything's much more clearer to me .
we are able to move on .
we don't need each other , do we ?
you love someone else & so do i .
every good things have to come to an end .
& therefore , i'm ending it .
i don't want to a part of your sadness , nort even your happiness .
from now on , i'll treat you only as a frend & nothing more .
i won't meet you unless its necessary .
i'll only text you when i feel like it .
you yourself know that i don't deserve all this .
but yet , you don't bother .
if you don't bother , i also can't be bothered .
hurt me all you want cause it won't have any effect on me .
i'm strong even without you by my side .
i have my frends who supports me .
& with their support , i'm getting stronger to overcome anything .
never have i wanted all this to happen .
i knew that one day , you'll go .
but then , i didn't expect it to happen .
i'm glad that its over now .
i miss you , i really do .
2 days you didn't reply my msg .
perhaps you're busy .
but i hope , you'll text me soon enough .
everytime when i see you , it makes me happy .
i don't know what makes me like you but you''re special .
very special indeed .
if only i am given that chance to have you , i'll be very happy .
DINAH :
thanks for everything that you've done for me .
i know i could count on you .
5 years of friendship & still counting .
things have been great with you around me .
those happiness & even sadness that we've been through together will always be in my mind .
if i've nort been a good frend to you , please forgive me .
i know i've been acting kinda weird lately .
but i just don't know what to do .
don't worry , i'll be alright soon enough .
ABDUL:
you're like a big brother to me .
you never fail to make me happy .
thanks for all the treats .
i owe you lots , i know that .
thanks for everything that you've done for me .
i know i could count on you .
5 years of friendship & still counting .
things have been great with you around me .
those happiness & even sadness that we've been through together will always be in my mind .
if i've nort been a good frend to you , please forgive me .
i know i've been acting kinda weird lately .
but i just don't know what to do .
don't worry , i'll be alright soon enough .
ABDUL:
you're like a big brother to me .
you never fail to make me happy .
thanks for all the treats .
i owe you lots , i know that .
just now , went to west coast plaza to see groove in the west .
there were 40 dance groups .
but only 20 are in for the semi-finals which will be held on 11 april .
to fifth ignition : eventhough you guys didn't get into the semi-finals ,
i knew you guys did your best .
GOOD JOB !
around 5.30pm , went off to meet my parents at outram .
they wanted to go shopping at mustafa centre .
i bought a nike shirt & nike waterbottle .
dad wanted to go to bugis but didn't have the time .
so , tmrrw i'll be going to bugis .
okay , done .
there were 40 dance groups .
but only 20 are in for the semi-finals which will be held on 11 april .
to fifth ignition : eventhough you guys didn't get into the semi-finals ,
i knew you guys did your best .
GOOD JOB !
around 5.30pm , went off to meet my parents at outram .
they wanted to go shopping at mustafa centre .
i bought a nike shirt & nike waterbottle .
dad wanted to go to bugis but didn't have the time .
so , tmrrw i'll be going to bugis .
okay , done .
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 @ 3:45 PM
NO PICTURE FOR TODAY .
ain't shure what's going on with me today .
i was able to concentrate & do my work only during D&T lesson .
the rest ; my mind was flying away .
kept staring into space .
i even kept quiet even when the others made jokes , which i usually join them but today i didn't .
nort shure why .
i was distracted , seriously .
one minute my mind will be with the others .
& another minute my mind will be away .
like within a snap or even less .
didn't have the mood to joke around or have fun .
my mind was thinking bout something but ain't shure what it was
mawning started as per normal .
except for dinah is early today .
& guess what .
she doesn't even recognise me .
i was the same , as per normal .
the only different thing bout me was that i was wearing specs .
abdul's specs i mean which doesn't have any degree .
wearing just for fun i guess .
she thought i was the girl she always see every mawning who's from hillgrove .
she said from far , i look like i rebond my hair .
well , i wish i could .
but i don't have the money now .
perhaps soon .
& i was like just a few metres from her .
first period was supposed to be SS then followed by maths .
but there was house meeting .
so it means no SS & maths period .
won't elaborate more on house meeting .
D&T lesson was okay .
after two period of D&T , it was time for recess .
went down to the canteen as usual & sat at the seat where i could see him .
i decided to eat briyani today but was suddenly full .
saw him & my frends were kinda smiling away .
oh my god , can't stop thinking of him even until now .
missing him cause its been 4 days since we text .
his prepaid is low .
hope he'll top up soon .
after school , went to mac .
yaneey & farahin stayed for awhile only cause they wanted to go out
i mean yaneey wanted to go cut her hair .
so it was left with me , dinah , abdul & nasrul .
i was effing hungry & so was dinah .
abdul treated me cause i asked him to .
thanks brother for the treat .
i ordered double cheeseburger meal , like always .
while abdul & dinah ordered mcspicy meal .
abdul didn't eat until finish .
he & nasrul left while dinah & me was still eating .
i was slow , much much slower than dinah .
it was supposed to be dinah who's always the slowest .
but today , it was me .
i didn't finish eating my double cheeseburger .
i was alrdy full .
i was actually hoping that he'll come to mac.
& just then , he came .
i was happy , seriously i was .
currently excited to see yaneey's hair tmrrw .
farahin told me that yaneey cut bob .
so , let's see the outcome tmrrw .
ain't shure what's going on with me today .
i was able to concentrate & do my work only during D&T lesson .
the rest ; my mind was flying away .
kept staring into space .
i even kept quiet even when the others made jokes , which i usually join them but today i didn't .
nort shure why .
i was distracted , seriously .
one minute my mind will be with the others .
& another minute my mind will be away .
like within a snap or even less .
didn't have the mood to joke around or have fun .
my mind was thinking bout something but ain't shure what it was
mawning started as per normal .
except for dinah is early today .
& guess what .
she doesn't even recognise me .
i was the same , as per normal .
the only different thing bout me was that i was wearing specs .
abdul's specs i mean which doesn't have any degree .
wearing just for fun i guess .
she thought i was the girl she always see every mawning who's from hillgrove .
she said from far , i look like i rebond my hair .
well , i wish i could .
but i don't have the money now .
perhaps soon .
& i was like just a few metres from her .
first period was supposed to be SS then followed by maths .
but there was house meeting .
so it means no SS & maths period .
won't elaborate more on house meeting .
D&T lesson was okay .
after two period of D&T , it was time for recess .
went down to the canteen as usual & sat at the seat where i could see him .
i decided to eat briyani today but was suddenly full .
saw him & my frends were kinda smiling away .
oh my god , can't stop thinking of him even until now .
missing him cause its been 4 days since we text .
his prepaid is low .
hope he'll top up soon .
after school , went to mac .
yaneey & farahin stayed for awhile only cause they wanted to go out
i mean yaneey wanted to go cut her hair .
so it was left with me , dinah , abdul & nasrul .
i was effing hungry & so was dinah .
abdul treated me cause i asked him to .
thanks brother for the treat .
i ordered double cheeseburger meal , like always .
while abdul & dinah ordered mcspicy meal .
abdul didn't eat until finish .
he & nasrul left while dinah & me was still eating .
i was slow , much much slower than dinah .
it was supposed to be dinah who's always the slowest .
but today , it was me .
i didn't finish eating my double cheeseburger .
i was alrdy full .
i was actually hoping that he'll come to mac.
& just then , he came .
i was happy , seriously i was .
currently excited to see yaneey's hair tmrrw .
farahin told me that yaneey cut bob .
so , let's see the outcome tmrrw .
Tuesday, March 24, 2009 @ 6:19 AM
thinking bout what's going to happen next .
wondering if something good is going to happen .
or maybe the opposite .
ain't shure bout it .
but there's nothing i can possibly do .
just waiting for the answers to be revealed .
wishing that he would understand my feelings .
i ain't strong to go through all this pain for any longer .
a deep cut was left in my heart when he left me all alone .
at that moment , i didn't know what to do .
he made me all confused .
no words .
nothing at all to tell me where did i went wrong .
i tried to reach him every single day .
but to no avail .
he ignored me like he never did knew me .
when i was able to move on , he came back into my life .
just for one week & then he started to apart from me bit by bit .
nothing hurts more than knowing that he actually played timer .
forking shit .
i get all forked up cause whenever i want to move on ,
he'll come back into my life .
its like as if he knows !
oh god , what did i do to deserve all this ?
i'm pretty shure that i had treated him nicely .
or maybe its cause i'm being too nice to him that's why he's taking it for granted .
i've tried my best .
but nothing's working .
i've lose hope , that's for shure .
being frends may be betta than strangers .
but sometimes , acting like strangers can be useful .
i took the risk in wanting to act like i never knew him cause ,
whenever i see him with her , it hurts .
maybe its betta this way .
i bet he'll be much more happier .
i was just someone to guide & love him .
i wasn't someone that was meant for him .
i'm glad that he's able to live his life with happiness .
while me ,
i'm still stucked here , trying to overcome all this .
my heart will be healed soon enough .
ain't shure if i have the confidence .
but i'm shure that you're the one .
you're the superman that i've been waiting for .
those smile of yours & those laughter of yours .
every bit of it just brings happiness to me .
you brought a smile to my face .
seeing you brightens up my day .
all i have is hope .
but i'm trying my best nort to put too high hopes on you .
cause i know that i might get hurt in the end .
just one wish .
hope you'll make my wish a dream come true .
Monday, March 23, 2009 @ 4:14 AM
love or just random feeling ?FORKING SHIT !
i don't know what's up with me .
ain't being myself lately .
angered .
hurt .
sad .
& stuffs .
it just makes me feel all worn out .
finding answers to questions in my mind .
leading me to uncertainty .
trying to sort things out .
hope things will turn out right .
can no longer hold back the tears .
just waiting for time to tell it all .
ain't gonna regret the decision that i've made .
feeling down but yet staying strong .
ain't gonna let all this thing pull me back .
filled with anger but nort wanting to let it out .
all those happy moments &
all those times are meant to be kept as memories .
nort wanting to let all that hurt me even more .
just want the best for him .
bygones are bygones .
no point regretting .
always look ahead .
& everything happens for a reason .
wishing him good luck & hope he'll be happy always .
takecare my dear frend .
suddenly felt this feeling that i never felt before .
going crazy over it .
a crush .
or perhaps more to love .
couldn't stop thinking bout it .
but trying to overcome it .
can't possibly do anything except to go with the flow .
never thot i'll get serious bout it .
but maybe i am after all .
thinking to myself every night .
wondering if its for real or nort .
this time , i'm pretty shure that its for real .
even then , i feel scared .
i don't wish to go through all this again .
i just wanna be free & happy .
i don't want to let all this stupid stuffs stop me from getting on with my life .
i admit i have my own weaknesses like everyone have .
how to overcome it ; still figuring .
life has its ups & downs .
sometimes in life , we don't always get what we want .
if we want something , we have to go get it .
we have to put our heart & soul into something if we want the best out of it .
talking bout the past may hurt but sometimes , it can be quite a memorable one indeed .
we may fight , argue & stuffs .
but through all this fights & arguments , that's when we bond together as one .
understanding one another might be hard .
but trying to keep one another is harder .
learn to listen .
& appreciate one another .
currently missing those past times .
wish i could turn back the time .
but its too late now .
nothing that i do will make things betta for me & him .
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 @ 4:07 PM
17 march , movie outing .
Dee & Fidd .
My Lovely Heartbeats .
Featuring abdul .Thanks for all the treats .
Stupid faces .
WEEE !
Look at dinah's face .
Omg . My face suckish man .17 march movie outing was fun .
we went to watch race to witch mountain .
the movie isn't that great .
there's this one so called alien & i'm scared whenever it appears .
i know its just a movie but so what , i don't care .
i thot that the whole outing would turn out to be a memorable & exciting one ,
but it turn out to be a sad outing for me .
didn't expect to fight with bestie , faraheen .
it wasn't my fault anw .
i did nothing wrong , i'm pretty shure bout that .
i was suppose to visit my grandfather who's very sick .
she told me to go visit my grandfather another time & ask me to follow them .
fine , i agreed to follow them .
but in the end , i ended up fighting with her .
& tears just kept rolling down my cheeks .
overall , everything was alright .
thanks for all the treats abdul .
i owe you lots .
For Faraheen .
i don't know the reason why you've changed ,
but i want you to know that i miss the old faraheen .
you used to care but now , you don't .
you used to appreciate but now , you don't .
whenever you don't have the mood , you show your tantrum at others who did nothing wrong .
you only think for yourself .
when you're tired , you don't care whether others are tired or nort .
you can talk bout the guys that you like but we can't talk bout the guys that we like .
you say & talk as you pleased without even caring bout our feelings .
i treat you as my bestie , that's why i didn't point out your mistakes .
another reason is that i don't want to hurt you .
if you're really my frend ,
you'll understand what's in my heart .
you'll know what i feel .
you'll understand how much it hurts trying to forget bout the person that i love so much .
& lastly , you want me to be happy .
nothing betta to do so camwhore .
things are much betta now , perhaps for me .
trying real hard to forget bout him .
moving on & staying strong .
laugh & smile always .
FORKING SHIT !
totally hate this guy by the name of rafiq .
i can do what i want to do & you don't tell me what i should do .
who do you think you are ?
say that you gort taste , well why bother msging me in the first place .
i don't forking know you & i don't wish to get to know you betta .
fyi , i don't entertain this kind of guys .
get lost & get a life man .
i don't know the reason why you've changed ,
but i want you to know that i miss the old faraheen .
you used to care but now , you don't .
you used to appreciate but now , you don't .
whenever you don't have the mood , you show your tantrum at others who did nothing wrong .
you only think for yourself .
when you're tired , you don't care whether others are tired or nort .
you can talk bout the guys that you like but we can't talk bout the guys that we like .
you say & talk as you pleased without even caring bout our feelings .
i treat you as my bestie , that's why i didn't point out your mistakes .
another reason is that i don't want to hurt you .
if you're really my frend ,
you'll understand what's in my heart .
you'll know what i feel .
you'll understand how much it hurts trying to forget bout the person that i love so much .
& lastly , you want me to be happy .
nothing betta to do so camwhore .things are much betta now , perhaps for me .
trying real hard to forget bout him .
moving on & staying strong .
laugh & smile always .
FORKING SHIT !
totally hate this guy by the name of rafiq .
i can do what i want to do & you don't tell me what i should do .
who do you think you are ?
say that you gort taste , well why bother msging me in the first place .
i don't forking know you & i don't wish to get to know you betta .
fyi , i don't entertain this kind of guys .
get lost & get a life man .
