Wednesday, August 19, 2009 @ 6:24 AM
PENS AND PAPERS .
I don't really care what people thinks or say about me . Maybe i do but certain things , i just can't be bothered . I can be nice but people can't expect me to be nice to everyone right . It's not like i have a choice or something . We started as being friends . I never thought you'll end up having feelings for me . Even if it's just a small feelings , it does matters . When you confessed to me , i couldn't say anything . But how can it be possible for me to be friends with you again when i don't feel comfortable ? I simply don't like it whenever you try to seek attention from me . I may be nice but it doesn't mean i won't hurt you . I guess i have to be straightforward . It's good that i hurt you now then later on . For the time being , i don't feel that there's a need for us to be closed friends .
I just can't express my feelings through words . I can only express it through pens and papers . You may think i'm not serious or whatever shit but seriously , i am . It's going to be one year but still , that feelings is still inside my heart . It just won't go away and i'm wondering why . What more can i say ? Basically , nothing . All i hoped for is a miracle to happen . Now , my mind is full of things . I just don't know what to do . I've expressed my feelings and it's up to you now .I can't force you and i won't pester you either . I don't mind us being friends but if you're going to avoid me then things will start to change for the bad . I don't know whether i should move on or wait for you . Either one , i'll still get hurt . But what if i say i'm not scared ? What if i say i'm much more happier being with you despite all the pain ? I keep on thinking about you and it makes me miss you even more . But how am i suppose to know what's in your heart ? I'm clueless , seriously . I know time is running out but i've tried my best . I'll just have to wait for 13th october and i hope you'll make it .
I don't think i want to regard you as my friend . What does friends means ? Basically , friends should be there when you need them . Friends should bother to ask you whether you're okay or not . Friends should try their best to text you no matter how busy they are . Friends should make you happy almost all the time . Friends should understand what's in your heart . Friends should know whether you're feeling down or whatsoever . Well , you can say that we're friends but the thing is , you're not treating me like one . You say we're just friends because you don't like being too closed because you say like flirt . Up to you laa kan . There's nothing else i can say . I'm tired of trying to convince people . I just can't be bothered .Maybe it's you all this while .
